In an age where our friendships have become more and more virtual, let’s explore what it means to have spiritual friendships. The cultivation of spiritual friendships is itself a spiritual discipline.
Like last week, I’m using Adele Ahlberg Calhoun’s Spiritual Disciplines Handbook (which I just discovered is on sale on the publisher’s website to promote reading together and practicing spiritual disciplines during this time).
Spiritual Friendship
Desire: to develop a friendship that encourages and challenges me to love God with all my heart, sould, mind and strength
Definition: Spiritual friendship involves cultivating a covenant friendship where I can naturally share about my life with God. It is grounded in relationship to God and a commitment to support, encourage, and pray for one another.
Scripture:
“A friend loves at all times, and kinsfolk are born to share adversity.” (Proverbs 17:17)
“Instead, I have called you friends, for everything that I learned from my Father I have made known to you.” (John 15:15)
“Accept one another, then, just as Christ accepted you, in order to bring praise to God.” (Romans 15:7)
“As iron sharpens iron, so one person sharpens another” (Proverbs 27:17)
Practice Includes:
- Journeying with another so you mutually grow in faith, hope and love
- Covenanting to pray for and receiving one another in love
- Playing together and praying together
- Knowing another well enough to be a support, encouragement and word of God to them
- Develop a healthy, interdependent friendship that encourages and grows the soul
- Inviting a friend into the journey of recognizing your blind spots
God-Given Fruit
- Gaining the perspective and support of a trusted Christian friend
- Being open about your highs, lows, temptations and joys
- Experiencing God’s love through the love of a friend
- Appreciating and being thankful for the giftedness of your spiritual friend
- Allowing a trusted friend to stretch and challenge you
- Laying down your life for love of another
- Having more than allies, colleagues and acquaintances in your journey
Spiritual Exercises:
- Take a friend inventory: draw a lifeline and divide it into seven-year segments. Put the initials of friends who have been important to you in each segment. What do you notice about your friendships? What kind of friends do you tend to gather around you? What does this tell you about yourself?
- Draw two columns on a piece of paper. Title one “Characteristics of a Spiritual Friend.” Title the other “Characteristics of Myself as a Friend.” Now fill the columns with you observations. What did you learn about yourself?
- We can never be perfect as a friend. We have limitations and flaws. List your current limitations (physical, time, emotional, etc.). Do you want a spiritual friend enough to arrange your life to have one?
- When friends are taking a hit in your hectic life, develop one of the following disciplines: (1) write postcards while on the airplane, (2) read the same book together, (3) send, flowers, balloons, cookies, (4) take a retreat together.
–Spiritual Disciplines Handbook, Adele Ahlberg Calhoun
I’ll close this post with the first verse of “What a Friend We Have in Jesus,” as Jesus models for us the type of friend we can be for others.
What a Friend we have in Jesus,
All our sins and griefs to bear!
What a privilege to carry
Everything to God in prayer!
O what peace we often forfeit,
O what needless pain we bear,
All because we do not carry
Everything to God in prayer!
Pastor Drew's Desk 